I’ve dealt with a lot of narcissists my whole life. An observation I made over the years is how the Filipino culture, and the difficulty of life back home and abroad for the common Filipino, has made narcissism almost a cultural trait. In my school days in Manila, “talent contests” were pretty common–kids who won singing contests, or were “topnotchers” (e.g. straight A students or students who score at the top of board exams), were often the pride and joy not just of their families, but their entire communities. This competitive streak continues well into adulthood, which then bleeds into many careers and lives in general.
My cousin, who spent many years trying to hash out a white collar existence in Makati, talks a lot about co-workers and bosses who do nothing but try to out-impress each other. From the brands of shoes they wear, to the famous people they know, and of course, all the way down to their rich families…to stand out, you had to be better than everyone around you. Even if that meant only looking like you were better than everyone around you. For those in the upper classes, perhaps this was a no-brainer, something they did because everyone else around them did the same thing. Who knows why rich people do what they do.
But for the poor, it could be a matter of life or death.
When I was little, my mom’s wardrobe in our tiny house in the slums was filled with high-quality office clothing. Appearance was everything. The country judged your right to live based on how important you looked or how smart you sounded. English could be wielded as a weapon; if you start ranting in straight English to an attendant somewhere, your chances of getting help goes up (though, incidentally, so does your chances of getting shanked in secret later on). If you looked rich, if you sounded smart, if you were good at something or knew somebody important, you had value. And the more you surrounded yourself with people who screamed you praises, the better your chances of surviving the cutthroat environment. (Also, because of that part where knowing somebody important could also mean life or death, people will latch on to people who seem important in order to survive, too). Unfortunately, some people internalize all of this which result in toxic personality traits that affect everyone they deal with, and leads to generational trauma that many are still trying to undo.
In my Legacy of the Lost Mage series, I introduced one of the most complex characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing: Enosh Tar’elian, a.k.a. Ylir yn Garr. He pivots between serving the role as a villain in many of the novels, but also as a hero once in a while. The man is a narcissist, in the shallowest definition of the word: a man who believes himself to be better than most people and expresses rage when others don’t live up to his ideals. He’s a merchant who’s also a mage, who specializes in glamour and enchanting other people into believing himself to be someone he’s not. An arrogant womanizer, intelligent, ambitious, and more than competent, he is also a thorn in the backside to the people who have no choice but to live with him. He’s been the butt end of many jokes, and even if you dismiss Enosh Tar’elian as nothing more than well…that’s just Enosh, the story works. I don’t spare the opportunity to get him to live with the consequences of his actions.
But of course, there’s more to him than that. If you examine the story a little more, you’ll find he shares a common thread with many of my more popular (in a good way) characters like Khine from Chronicles of the Bitch Queen. He, too, grew up in poverty. He may claim he has the bloodline of a prince, but that doesn’t change the fact that he grew up in a small village, living hand to mouth. Things got worse when he went to the mainland and had to prove himself worthy of being a rich merchant’s right-hand man. Hyper-competence combined with an unhealthy level of arrogance was his way of trying to live another day.
Enosh Tar’elian continues to play a role in my next book, Outlaw Mage. The entire series is set from the POV of immigrants, many of whom have to figure out how to jump from an already-difficult life in their home countries to the challenges of an empire that doesn’t actually care about their future. Generational trauma, borne from being raised by parents who had to stretch themselves to the limits to survive, is another one of the themes.
It’s available to pre-order from Amazon right now, and from other retailers soon.
