The year is drawing to a close, and I’m briefly breaking social media hiatus to do a year-end update.
This is the year where I made the move from an author setting her own time and doing her own thing, to an author working with a team and meeting deadlines. It’s been great. The Orbit team has been nothing but wonderful, and a little structure never hurt me, as I have a tendency to go off the rails if given the slightest bit of encouragement.
We’ve done major revisions for two books–the first of course which is the upcoming THE WOLF OF OREN-YARO, and then its sequel, THE IKESSAR FALCON. The third book has already been submitted. This is my promise to readers: this series is complete, and has been since long before the first book hits the shelves. I realize that my Orbit deal came with a tinge of disappointment for many readers, who knew they had to wait for the conclusion another couple of years; so I’ve worked tirelessly to make this a reality. You will learn how Talyien’s tale ends in just a little over a year from now.
“I murdered a man and exiled my king the night before they crowned me…” is a loaded first sentence, and it propels the story all the way through. And of course, in so many ways, this whole story is catharsis for me, a way to deal with how the burden of the past can be placed on your brow like a crown, and you still have to carry it with pride till the end of your days. I can see that clearly, looking back at the last decade. I made a promise to myself at the start of it that I was going to make the best of my years from then on. That all the shit weighing me down could be harnessed as a weapon.
I have things to show for it ten years later, but it’s also clear that it’s taken its toll. I now have health problems I didn’t before. Despite trying my best to have a healthy lifestyle, I have to take medication for the rest of my life. People have told me about self-care and I understand the need for it now more than ever, but to be perfectly honest, some situations in life are not primed for such a thing. I have a family (and being Filipino, this includes extended family in three generation). I worry about them constantly. Keeping that balance–when to keep fighting, when to let go–has been a theme in our lives these last few years. It’s definitely become a theme in my books, too.
Where am I going from here? I always ask myself this at the end of every year, looking back at what I’ve done, looking forward to what I’d like to do. Fears of ever selling enough books to live on my writing aside, I finished a manuscript this year that has me all sorts of excited creatively. I’m going to be outlining the second book for this very soon. Some people say you shouldn’t do this before the first book has sold, but I don’t really care. I write with complete stories in mind and I want to finish this one, too. Self-publishing is always on the table. I know I will never be content with my art, but I can at least get close, and I want to keep pushing myself to achieve…something. Nothing exterior–the more I see of the publishing industry, the more I want to shut out the noise and focus on what’s in front of me. I don’t want to obsess over the arbitrary, not when none of this will last. Have you ever been a child sitting on the floor with a piece of paper, painting whatever nonsense you’ve dreamed of with your fingers? I’m still that child, dribbling paint everywhere.
My goal for the next year is to continue to be that child. Which maybe means I will never sell enough books to live on, which brings us full circle back to that balance. I need to find ways to tell my stories, but I also need to contribute to my family’s needs…and I need to find ways to do both without compromising the other. It is probably easier to do this now than ever before. Maybe it’s harder. Who knows?
Happy New Year, everyone, and may all the blessings and good fortunes come your way. I’ll be back the first week of January with some great stuff to kickstart the last six weeks of #HailtheBitchQueen. See you till then!
