So, first, a few updates and announcements to get out of the way.
I’ll be embarking on another round of edits for The Xiaran Mongrel next week. It’s going to need a lot of edits. I’m not the kind of writer who takes pride in clean first drafts and am pretty happy to just have a decent story by the end of it, nevermind how many blows to my ego it takes to get there. Trying to fashion a complicated political epic into something that can be binge-read is no easy task. There’s so much to juggle in terms of character arcs, and plot structure, and pacing, and gah. I’m actually dreading looking at it now.
I’m also relaunching The Agartes Epilogues omnibus at the start of the upcoming year. There’s a fresh coat of edits (particularly for Jaeth’s Eye, which people have noted starts off roughly), and an actual cover for the omnibus finally because…yes, to respond to popular demand, I’m making a physical omnibus! It’s going to be a brick and the font is probably going to look like ants but we’ll figure something out. I am also planning to retire the old editions of this series, so anyone who’s been drooling over Ash Navarre’s artwork for the first three books…probably should start saving up to grab them now before it’s too late.
Blackwood Marauders 2 has been outlined and titled. Sigil of the Fallen will…hopefully be written out by the end of the year, but I’m well aware I have too much on my plate and to have it finished I’ll need to zombie my way through the next few weeks. I know I said I was hoping to have that released between April to June next year, so my apologies in advance to fans of that series if I don’t make that in time. On the plus side, it’s not like with Black Dog where I have no set plans for the sequel…
Okay, onto other things.
I seem to have acquired a starred Publishers Weekly review for The Wolf of Oren-yaro.
I applied for the option through their BookLife program way back in spring, not really thinking much about it. They say they only pick a few indie books to review each time, and of those, only a very small percentage get positive reviews–let alone a star. So to see the email from them after I’ve all but forgotten about it felt like someone pulling a thorn from my heart. I did it. I fought like a mad dog to get my work this far…and here it is.
Because something that’s been on my mind, and that I think weighs on every self-published writer’s mind, is whether we’re really just kidding themselves. A few months ago, there was a heated discussion on the r/fantasy which brings up that age-old debate between self and trad: if nobody backed your work, if you didn’t have a team of industry professionals telling you that your work has value, then who’s to say it does? I mean, it’s tough to be a self-published author. In some places, they look at you like that person with lice. People may be aware of your work but then completely ignore you in recommendations in the necessary places, because you don’t really “count.” You’re not “legit.” You don’t have that “stamp of approval.”
I think my response to that hinges around belief in yourself. I don’t mean that in an arrogant way: not, I’m good and I know it! It’s more of a level of confidence in the craft. I think I know what I’m doing. I think I’m at least not garbage-vomiting my into my manuscripts (although to be honest, I am) and then slapping polish and a fresh coat of paint on it and calling it done. I think I have the necessary competence it takes to produce something that isn’t totally embarrassing. I do understand that it is a fallacy that many fall into, especially in the world of self-publishing. And the discussion went that way for a bit and I was told that unfortunately the author is probably the least qualified to believe in their own product.
I get it; I do. But at the end of the day, I feel that an author–whether self or trad-pubbed, because these are just ways of getting the work out there with very legitimate reasons behind each–you do need that belief in yourself, which must then be tempered with understanding and skill. You need to make all the necessary adjustments yourself first before you show it to someone, not sit around waiting for a pat on the back and be told you have talent. Talent is only a small part of the equation. Everything else falls back on hard work. Because when the road is dark and there are no guarantees, do you love this enough to still give it your all? I know my answer. I’ve always known it.
What does this mean, in the long run? Nothing much other than I get back to work with at least a measure of confidence that all is not lost. Because at this point, I can’t go back to a day job and expect to even take home anything (childcare is expensive, we have one car, and we live quite aways from the city). Even if I go back to work as a professional civil technologist, this whole area is fucked. I’m hoping the Agartes relaunch does well, because we could really use that income. So far my books have paid off debt and helped pad up groceries, but it’s still not enough, and we’re still running through savings every time some new expense comes up (our car has been making loud noises and I’m scared to find out how much that repair is going to cost). How long can one hold out before one breaks? I don’t know, but the fear keeps me glued to this chair and working long into the night…
