I try to stay away from feminist conversations. Not because I don’t have my own set of opinions about the whole situation, but because I’m not educated enough about the various terminologies to accurately portray what I’m trying to say (which more or less comes down to “people can be whoever they want to be”).
I know only this: my first attempt at writing from a woman’s point of view was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Every single one of my main characters in the past have been men.
I think part of this reason comes from my discomfort about my own gender while growing up. You can’t help but stick your own biases into your story. I’ve allowed my male characters to be all sorts: funny, serious, angry, agreeable, smartass. But women? All I knew was how women are supposed to be.
Growing up in a strictly Asian society, I’ve been told these things: I needed to wear skirts more, be less argumentative, be nice, try to make myself look pretty more often, eat less (but don’t work out too much because, your shoulders!). I’ve had people comment about the way I dressed, as if choosing to wear shirts and pants somehow lessened your worth as a person. My own brother-in-law detested me for being “controlling”, because when we were kids I think I must’ve been one of the few girls he met who tried to stand up to his bullying (and since I didn’t look like an anime chick, this wasn’t allowed). We still don’t talk. I had somebody from my childhood express surprise that I was able to find a husband at a young age, because I “was such a tomboy”.
I had no template for writing Sume alon gar Kaggawa, one of the three main characters in The Agartes Epilogues.
I knew she was supposed to be part of a love triangle, so I thought I needed to make her “attractive”. And for some reason, I thought this meant making her nice to everyone. I wasn’t happy with this characterization, however. She felt flat to me, nothing but a plot device.
I rewrote Jaeth’s Eye three times over a period of eight years. My portrayal of Sume grew up as I grew up. Suddenly, she had a voice and her own ideas about what she wanted in life–a real, breathing character. She makes her own choices: most, controversial.
The reaction to her was…interesting, to say the least. I’ve had comments ranging from that she was too willing to sacrifice so much for her family, including her dead brother’s wife, to, “She’s too mean.”
What the hell, guys.
What do people mean when they say they want to see strong women characters?
Portrayal of women in fiction seem to swing from being all Princess Peach-y (the type that people now instantly recoil from) to Xena Warrior Princess. I am not sure where to place Sume. She can’t hold her own in physical combat. She doesn’t have a cool background that involves being part of a secret cult of ninja-warriors. Her father was a merchant, so she was educated, but more in a backcountry sort of way. She is normal.
She makes mistakes, argues about what she feels is right, falls in love, gets confused, and doesn’t always have the right answers. Why does she have to be more?
Another character that people responded to negatively was Hana, Sume’s sister-in-law. People didn’t like that she came off stingy and again, mean. Hana had a difficult life, and to some people, being “strong” means being “abrasive”. It doesn’t make her a bad person. It doesn’t mean she was incapable of love. Far from it.
I feel like all of this is a reflection on women in society, as a whole. I worked in a male-dominated industry in my last job, and even though it wasn’t clear, I always felt like there were these expectations on how I should act. Either I had to be agreeable, allowing myself to be open to criticism at all times, or I could be “more confident” I guess so people wouldn’t question me–like my mom, who had to act like a tiger to survive in the same industry for the past few decades. You couldn’t be someone who was nice but still got heard. You couldn’t just be you.
Women come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. This is something I’ve tried to incorporate in The Agartes Epilogues as much as I can. There’s young women and old women, nice women and angry women, intelligent women and women who’d rather hit things with a sword than talk about feelings. Being the first series I’ve written with this in mind, I think there’s still a lot of room for improvement on my part, but it’s been a great experience that does leave me a little bit dissatisfied with how some people reacted to it.
We can do better, can’t we?
Discover a colourful cast of characters in The Agartes Epilogues.
